Yes, I know...... I've skipped a beat on getting a post out in sometime now. However, being that time is literally something I have an abundance of, there's no time like the present.
|Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash|
At the start of the 2020, I thought the most historical event we would live through, would be Brexit. Turns out 7.8 billion of us were wrong.
We are coming to the end of the UK's 4th week in lock-down. An inevitable result of the Pandemic known as COVID-19 that has brought the entire world to its knees. We're truly living through unprecedented times. If you, had asked me this time last year (or in fact any point of my life) if I thought I’d be confined to my house, only able to leave for food for over a month so far in a bid to combat the spread of a virus, I would have concluded that I was about to hear the plot to Shaun of the Dead 2.
I mean yes, we all wanted 2020 to be a big year, but come on bad universe, you're taking the piss a bit here.
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This disease has changed life as we know it. The daily deaths toll, is dominating the news. People are spending more time with those they live with, but are separated from those they don't. We're solely reliant on technology to communicate with others. People are helping strangers more than I can ever remember them ever doing so. But the most important change, is that the value of the NHS and front line workers in the UK and across the world, is not only been seen, it's at the highest it’s ever been. These selfless people are risking theirs and their families lives, day in, day out to ensure that the human race does not become extinct. So I would like to say - AS EVERYONE SHOULD BE “A Massive Thank You”
to all of those, doing everything they can to ensure the rest of us survive. I am truly grateful for your contribution. To all governments, I’d like to take this time to remind you of the noble and self-sacrificing work being done by all of these individuals around the globe and implore you to give them the recognition they deserve now and in the future.
Now it would appear, as I’ve gotten into the habit of posting moreso about my shenanigans, therefore coming a little unstuck in the current state of social distancing. However, a friend of mine (thank you Moni 😊) reminded me that my blog is not just about what new restaurant I’ve been to (although I'm pretty sure I'm going out for dinner every night for the first week once this is over) it’s about my journey, and a big part of that is how I’m feeling. So here goes......
I’m currently, on the slightly better end of feeling like I’m experiencing a clusterfuck of emotions.
Worry - The uncertainty about when this virus madness will be over. What life will be like after? Will I still have a job? Will everyone I love still be alive? We have no real answers to these questions. So, I get that this is a waiting game, but it’s difficult to stop my thoughts turning my mind into washing machine cycle.
Overwhelmed - I should be doing all of the things I never have time for? Which task do I start with? Should I be doing a bit of all of them everyday? I must stay productive all of the time or else I’m just wasting this time? Yes, asking yourself that many questions before 9am can put un-calm spin on the rest of your day (sometimes even with meditation) And then there's the over checking of social media
Anxious - When I’m not productive (or feel I haven't been productive enough) I feel shit about it. Knowing I should have days to just chill, like I would in normal life....but feeling guilt about it. Feeling like time is ticking by, but I can't do anything because we are at a stand still.
Lonely - This is a weird one, as I’ve been speaking to people more than I normally would. I've been chilling with the neighbours (separately, in our own gardens) and I live with my dad, but being that I would usually be out of the house at least 5 days a weeks and come into contact with a variety of other people, I guess the balance is a little offset. A lot of people will be going through this, and although that doesn't make it better, knowing I’m not alone is a comfort.
Over the last year, I’ve spent a lot of time and written quite a few posts about navigating through the above and I can assure you it takes time. I’d made peace with that it not happening overnight......okay kind of, I’m still boarding the patience plane. But now it would seem that #baduniverse has thrown a completely unreasonable spanner in the works, emphasizing the above, which like it or not has created another obstacle to tackle 🙄 or, has it created another opportunity for growth? I'm willing to bet its the 2nd one, but is feels annoyingly like the 1st.
Sooooooo.......I'd like to take this opportunity to say,......FUCK YOU CORONAVIRUS!!!
You’re a baggy vagina’d, fuck nugget who’s over stayed there welcome and needs vacate the planet ASAP Rocky.
|Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash|
Secondly, I'd like to re-iterate that although it may not seem like it right now, We Will Get Through This.
This week has been a difficult one for me, which in hindsight I should have known, pushing those feelings away and not dealing would come back to bite me in the ass (yes, I'm still learning this lesson). But the fact that 4 days ago, I didn’t even want to lift my head off of the pillow and now I’m writing this post, is proof of the ability to get back up after falling down. We’re all gonna come up against many different struggles, for unpredictable amounts of time, but it won’t last forever. Try to be productive and get what you can done, but accept and don’t judge yourself harshly when you can’t. We’re living through something, a lot of us have never experienced and hopefully never will experience again in our lifetime. Allow yourself the patience to learn how to deal with it. Protect your physical & mental health. They are equally both important 💕
|Photo by Daniel Lincoln on Unsplash|
We’ve got this
Have a great day, remember you are a unicorn and don't let anybody shit on your rainbow 💝