Friends, Family & Food

I've been quite the social butterfly this week.

Which considering how manic work's been, is quite an achievement in itself.

I've been making an effort to participate in more things that make me happy this week. I've been binge reading my current book Fairytale by Danielle Steele. Its at that, what I like to call 'peak point' of the book. I'm so engrossed I'm even reading whilst walking to the washing machine to get clothes. Reading is definitely up there, as one of my top five ways to spend time. As much as I understand the practicality of a kindle, I do prefer to be able to turn the pages of a book.

As the title of this post suggest my week has consisted of friends and food.

Monday - I took the day off work , under the assumption of going to a Game of Throne's party. That didn't come to play, so I figured, I'd stay up and watch what I assumed was going to be an epic finale. Cue the disappointment. For me, the last ever episode of GoT was the worst one I’ve ever seen. It didn't give this legendary show the the amazing send off I would have expected. Don't even get me started on ”Bran the Broken” being king 😞 With that being said GoT still is and always will be one of the most awesome shows to ever grace our TV screens.

Cheeseburger & Fries @ The Ned 

Wednesday - I went for what I thought would only be a couple of drinks with my loony pal Mr Francis. We proved we can be adults and rather than drinking enough, to already see the next days hangover, by 10pm, we decided to go to dinner. We were both quite proud of ourselves for making such a grown up decision. We rocked up to The Ned, ordered a couple of burgers, had few more drinks, listened to some live music and being the little sociable sally’s that we are made a few friends along the way.

Jack Fruit Burger & Sweet Potato Fries @ The Ned 

Friday - I met up with an old friend. Monica and I haven't spoken in almost 10 years. Due to a falling out, over which we both now agree,  was a simple case of miscommunication. It's weird how in life, there are some things, you'll just  never see coming. The universe intervened and presented an opportunity, where I bumped into her at the train station and said hello. It then sprinkled a little fairy dust and gave her the courage to reach out to me. To which I am  grateful for. We met up at Liverpool street station and from the minute we saw each other to the minute we left to go home, It was like we'd been friends for the last decade. I've missed having her in my life. Sometimes you make peace with the way things have been and figure Its best to leave them that way, until a situation occurs to show you, that change is possible. We have both agreed, that we would like to see if we could rebuild a friendship and I'm super happy that we're both in a place in our lives where we can be open minded enough to try.

Smoked Schinkenacker @ German Gymnasium 

 Saturday - I went to see Jon Wick with a friend. For the sake of this blog and keeping shit under wraps we'll call him Mr Seeing What Happens. (Mr SWH for short) We went to the at Everyman Kings Cross. As you may or may not know, Everyman Cinema's are slightly pricier than your average Cineworld or Vue, so it isn't necessary to watch every film there. However, the  sofas paired with a few glasses of Prosecco and some popcorn, imitates a good night in,whilst actually having a night out. I'm also not unhappy about the cozy setting it created for Mr SWH and I. Now, if you haven't yet seen Jon Wick: Parabellum, I would suggest you trade in this month Netflix subscription money and go and see it. Without giving away any spoilers, there is some serious violet action, literally within minutes of this film starting. There were parts in this film even I had to turn away from the screen for. Knife in the eye. I'll leave you with that. Needless to say, It did'nt disappoint and left it open for a chapter 4. After the usual critique over anything we watch, we strolled through the newly done up Kings Cross, to German Gymnasium. The outside of this building, does not do it justice as to how beautiful it is inside. The food was really good. I had the Smoked Schinkenacker -  2 smoked and grilled pork sausages, with sauerkraut, potato puree and crispy onions. When it turned up, I was sure I'd have room for dessert. I was wrong..lol. It's easily going on the list of great meals I've had in a long time .
Mr SWH had the chicken schnitzel and this bird literally covered the plate. With good food, a good film and good company Saturday turned out to be a rather good day. Topped off by getting home and having a few more drinks and a lot of laughs with my dad and my uncles.

Bank Holiday Monday - Had a Family lunch at Prezzo. I'm not a massive fan of the food at Prezzo. This is my second time going and I have to say, I wouldn't choose to go again. However, I did try my first ever Calzone and it was a nice afternoon spending time with some of the family.

Calzone @ Prezzo 

I can go weeks without having a full social calendar. Sometimes because there is simply nothing on the books, sometimes because I’m not in the right head-space to be sociable. I’m grateful that the past week has seen fit, to allow me the time and mindset be able spend time with so many people. I'm lucky enough that I have people around me. I'm lucky enough that I am still welcoming people into my life. I'm lucky that until the 3rd June, my weight is the least of my concerns. 

So today’s message is...

Enjoy life wherever you can.
Spend time with people that make you smile and bring out the best in you.
Appreciate the friends and family you have.
Make room for new people to join your life.
Create space for old people to return.
But most importantly....eat as much good food as you can. I’m all about being healthy and in the best shape to maximize my confidence and happiness, but not at the expense of a couple of good sausages. I’m still talking about food you dirtbags, get your mind out of the gutter

Have a great day, remember you are a unicorn and don’t let anybody shit on your rainbow💝

Calm out of Chaos

Shit's been a little.......peak recently. 

                                       Photo by Andea Ferrario on Unsplash
                                                         

I haven't had my head in the game and as a result everything's been a little up in the air. My plan to live my best life, hit a bit of a stumbling block. I’ve been focusing my attention on the wrong things and have not been strutting my stuff down the path to happiness that I'm trying to take. 

The funny thing is, I've not been in complete control, with the strongest head on my shoulders, but I also haven't completely fallen apart. Yes, I've deterred from that yellow brick road, but I'm also not back at the very beginning of my journey berating myself for slipping up. I’ve taken inventory of the madness that's been occurring and am post-it noting my way though the good and the bad.

The Good

• Reunions - I hung out with some old pals a couple of weeks ago for the hen do of my Princess Alicia. I got to spend time with her, My baby Mama Dani..lol, Charney and Crystal. Even though it ended in a rather messy and late night out, thanks to some rather large glasses of Pornstar Martinis and more than a few bottles of champagne, it was still a shit load of fun and I got to see some ladies I haven't seen in ages. Reminding me that although life gets busy for us all, we must carve out a little time, for each other, every now and then. 

• Exercise -  I'm happy to report, I've been keeping up with my workouts. My consistency with this tends to yo-yo, but I've kept up a pretty good rate of getting those squats in. I'm liking the way my ass is looking so much so, I find myself feeling it up, in appreciation of its new found shape. And why shouldn't I. It's my ass after all and no one else has their hands on it......well that's not entirely true, but that's a story for another day😏

• Body Image - As we are coming to the end of  #mentalhealthawarenessweek- which is focused on 'body image' I'm finding a little more acceptance, with what I see when I look in the mirror. I'm not head over heels in love with my reflection, yet, but I'm certainly feeling less dislike for what I see. This week I read a tweet from Gok Wan where he said "Its not about loving every bit of your body everyday, but simply about not hating your body” That's a very strong message, that so many people need to hear. I'd never looked at it from that perspective. We're all going to have things we see, when we look in the mirror that we are not over the moon about. That's okay. Just make sure you don't lose sight of the bigger picture. We're all beautiful in our own way!!

• An Alpha Team-  A great circle of people around you can literally re-shape your entire life. Amidst all of the chaos I've been feeling, there are a selection of people - My Little Chan Chan, My Niece, My Aunty Annie, My Duck, My Seanz, My Roo, My Rooley & even though I’ve only known them for a short amount of time, My Sabs & My Deirdre who have all played their very special part in making sure I keep my head above water. But more importantly, they encourage me to keep being, the best version of myself even when I feel like I can't. They let me be myself without judgement or ridicule. Which really says a lot because I can be an aggressive bitch 😂 You never really know how friendships are going to turn out. I could be trying to punch them all in the throat a month from now, but I am grateful that the universe saw fit to put them in my path. I also want to give a shout out My Daddy, who as you know is the best Dad in the world and my "Even though I want to kill him most of the time, but he's still my pal" Liam. Even though I prefer his brother...lool

• Skin Regime - So apparently, I’ve been super lucky in the fact that I could just wash my face, dry it with the vigor of a 4 year old boy and them smack some cream on and go. It would appear that, my luck has run out and I'm now having to engage in a skincare regime. Cue the rolling of the eyes. Bless my sister Chana, she's had me testing out a shit load of stuff to see what works and I'm not gonna lie, having gone from my previous regime to having to apply at least 4 different products morning and night was a little exasperating at first. You have to wake up like 2 days in advanced just to get this shit done. But having been doing it for over a month now, I'm kind of enjoying it. I guess I'm a proper girl now 😲 although don’t get it twisted I'm not at the waxing my Vagina stage. 

The Bad

• Focus - My focus being off means, I’ve been slacking with keeping up with my blog and working towards the writing life I want. I haven't felt calm enough to prioritize effectively, so I'm a little behind on where I wanted to be, in regards to writing more, creating more images and consistently keeping up with the writing community. But I'm aware of it and that's the first step to fixing it

• Social Life - As much as I love the social aspect of going out, it has taken me away from having productive weekends. I haven't done walk the walk in a while and I'm missing it. So in true Libra style, I need to find some balance. I don't want to become a house hermit, but I also don't want to spend my entire weekends in bed watching marvels films....actually that's quite a fun way to spend a weekend....but you get what I mean.

• Dating - I’ve been putting off dating for some time now. Partly because its been a while and , I'm a little scared to get back out there. Partly because I'm still working on myself. Although It feels like me being scared is the bigger reason. So its time to pull up my big girl thong and dip my toe into the dating pool. To be fair even if I do try and chicken out, sabs has put it in the calendar for me to join bumble in 2 weeks. 

• Hurt Feelings - Recently a couple of people have said things that have hurt my feelings. My initial assessment was to be angry at them. Then it was to tell myself to 'man up' neither were correct. People will always do or say things that may hurt you. You have to decipher if they are being intentionally malicious or are simply unaware of what they've done. If they're being malicious, uppercut them in their jaw. (I know you’re probably waiting for me to say "Just Kidding”.....Don't hold your breath) But if you know,  they'd be upset to know they'd hurt you, deal with how you feel about it and move on. Holding onto it only hurts you further. If that means letting them know,  how what they did made you feel,  do so! But sometimes it may just be a lesson for you and your emotions. It can actually be quite a positive one. Someone said something on Friday that upset me and it bugged me ever since, but today, I reminded myself, to let it go. I don't think they meant it maliciously, but if they did, fuck it, its there opinion and they are entitled to it. It doesn't make it true.

See, there is more good than bad to have come out of the last few weeks. I feel better today than I have done in a while. Life has  taken some unexpected but interesting turns, but most importantly I have laughed a hell of a lot, which means somewhere in there, I'm happy. In the end that's all I'm asking for and no matter what's happened, I haven't lost that. #happylife 

So I'm going to take my happy ass off to watch Aquaman, because I've ever been sad watching Jason Momoa😍 and then get ready for the season finale of Game of Thrones. I can't believe this shits about to end. There's been so many mixed feelings and discussions about this season, I just cant wait to see how they end it because at this point it could be super great or super disappointing. #JonSnowtotakethethrone.

Highlight of this Season: Arya being the gangsta bitch we know her to be and fucking up the night king.
Disappointment of the Season: Apart from the whole series feeling rushed, Daenerys turning into a vengeful psycho AKA Cersei

But 24 hours from know we'll know how its ends.

Have a great day, remember you're a unicorn and don't let anybody shit on your rainbow 💖

Good vs Evil

I'm starting to understand why Anakin Skywalker gave into the dark side of the force.

It often feels like the harder I work, to become a better version of myself, the more formidable the universe is, at trying to keep me where I am. Or worse, dragging me further down.

I've even considered the possibility, that my life is a modern day Truman Show. Narcissistic overlords, in the background, pulling the strings for shits and giggles. But, I know its a simple case of, this is how life works. I've come to realise, the further I roam into "The Better Me Movement" I'll develop the necessary skills to survive this roller coaster called  life. But not without the odd stumbling block.

                                "Nothing Worth Anything Comes Easily"

I want to see where this journey takes me. What I learn from it? What I feel during and after it? How my life changes because of it? Which brings me to today's post.....

I'm familiar with the negative thought pattern, that rolls around in my head. Its what encourages me to be a positive person. There's a lot of shitty things going on in the world, but I still try to sit on #TeamGood, in the battle of Good vs Evil. However, not only did I lose sight of that for a minute this weekend, I wasn't sure if I even wanted my membership card to  #TeamGood.

I was on my way home from a pre-bank holiday weekend, night out with work - a rather random 12 hours consisting of 3 new friends, 2 bars and 1 broken leg. Even though it was 4am, I decided to get the tube. The lines I needed run 24hrs and I was already at the station. I got on the central line (which was shockingly empty - a state in which I've never seen it) I didn't have to wait too long for the Victoria Line. I hopped onto a carriage to the left of me, rather than the one directly in front of me, which I put down to me being my usual random self. As it turns out, it was the Universe, better yet God, guiding me out of harms way. I was highly engrossed in watching 'Line of Duty' and am not even sure, what made me look up and to my left into the carriage I'd avoided. It was at this point that I noticed, what can only be described as 2 DISGUSTING VILE CUNTS beating up and robbing a boy. They were hitting him, tormenting him and when the train stopped at seven sisters, they dragged him off.

Now, I know sadly shit like this happens all over the world, everyday. However, to see it first hand, in such close quarters, was heart-breaking to witness. The fact that these two cowardly cunts, felt that they had the right to ruin this poor boy's journey, let alone his day and possibly his life is unfathomable to me. How dare they!!!

I have no idea what happened to this boy after they dragged him off of the train. Before we arrived at seven sisters I saw one of these two Asshats walking towards the carriage I was in and I felt sick with fear. A million thoughts were going through my head, but the one that echoed the loudest was "God please get me out of here now". I kept praying for the doors to close. This thought made me feel selfish. The fact that I was more concerned about my safety, than what was happening to this unlucky boy. As soon as I exited the train station, I jumped into a cab. The moment I was safely back in my house, is when the anger kicked in. The anger for that ill-fated boy, who was just going about his day and had his life intruded on. The anger that there is blatantly such evil in the world. The anger that they were probably going to get away with it. The anger that even if they were caught, there were so many others out there like them. The anger at myself and others on the train who saw, but did nothing, out of fear of what could happen. The anger that we now have to live in a society, where the first instinct is not to get involved, out of fear of losing your own life.

The incident hit me quite hard. It made me hate (a word I rarely use) humanity. It made me wish for the entire world to be wiped out Thanos style. Why should the good have to live through such evil? Why should the evil be able to ruin all that is good? It made me so sad that it reduced me to tears. Not because I didn't know the world is a shit place, but because its saddening to be reminded how awful it can truly be. I felt so bitter from it, that even whilst my sister was trying her utmost to convince me, not let go of my positive outlook, I'd already given up. I felt a pain that wiped out my faith in Humanity. As far as I was concerned Humanity sucked and they should burn.

That was 4 days ago.....

I still believe, those 2 bastards and anyone else who harms others just because they can, should die slow painful deaths (God forgive me, but my view isn't likely to shift on this one) My faith in humanity is not back up at the level it was, but its not down at a level where I feel everyone should perish. I know there is good in the world. Its just going to take me a minute, to solidify my reasoning as to why I'm a member of #Teamgood. Going to see Avengers: Endgame for the 2nd time on Saturday, probably gave me a kick in the right direction. I'm not going to let, me observing this shit situation, make me only see the bad in the world. I don't deserve to live such a negative life and  the world deserves for me to be my positively crazy self.

The lesson being......

I may have booked a lastminute.com trip to negative town, but it was only a weekend break. I'm didn't buy a house and move there. The evil side of the universe threw me a cannonball to knock me off track. But the good side of the universe, taught me how to cope with it. It taught me, that even though I had a negative reaction, I was able to let it go. Team Evil Universe typically throws me garden variety  situations to keep me on my toes

• Selfish Work Colleague 
• The Mind Fuck Twins (Anxiety & Depression
• Emotional Stress 

They upped their game this weekend - but then again so did Team Good Universe. They sent family members and friends to check in on me, just to make sure I was ok. They sent me strangers on social media with words of encouragement. They gave me the time I needed to chill out, sort through my feelings and get on with my life.

There will always be situations and people in life that will try to drag you down. Some things will be more difficult than others, to get back on your feet from. That's fine! But do not EVER under any circumstances let those Asshole, Thunder Cunt, Motherfucking, Douche Bag, Wankers KEEP YOU DOWN. Work through whatever you need to and stand your beautiful ass back up again.

I've been a distracted from working on my blog and towards my dream life of recent. This has reminded me to get my shit together. To get back to building the life I want, even in these shitty times.

*If you've been offended, by any of the swearing in today's post.....You're going to need to get over that*

Have a great day, remember you're a unicorn and don't let anybody shit on your rainbow💖