Are we seriously already 2 months into 2020?
Is it, that time really just flies, or is it that we're simply not making the most of the minutes as they pass by?
If you're like me, most of January was spent with red sharpie crosses on the calendar, counting down to the 31st. That holy grail of days, where not only do you get paid, even though its still technically January - drinking can now commence. February feels like its gone by faster, than wile e coyote chasing the road runner. It was literally Valentines Day last week - which even though I've spent the last 1 or 2..lol single, I was more upset, that I missed out on all of the dine in for 2 options supermarkets were offering this year, than I was about not having a boyfriend. Within a couple of REM's we'll be into the last week of this month stocking up on Nutella for Pancake Day and then its "baby bye, bye, bye" to February.
I've recently been thinking about, how much of my time I've wished away over my life span. Get me to the weekend. Get me to payday. Get me to summer. Get me to Christmas. Its absurd how much of my life has been wasted, wishing time away. Especially as there are people who would give anything for more time. People who have been delivered the heartbreaking news, that they only have limited time left, before time runs out. Or people that are living in such a dark place, that they're counting down the seconds, until they stop time forever.
One thing that is for certain, is that that we never get time back. Therefore just like everything else in life we have to balance how we use it. It's to have lazy days, doing nothing but watching films and eating snacks (one of my favourite pass times) Just like its also okay to strap on a parachute and jump out of a plane. It's okay to spend your time however you choose, just don't spend it wishing it away. We never know when that last grain of sand it going to drop through the hour glass.
So, as 2020 has taken a sprint off of the starting blocks and has already got me typing out my Easter egg request email to my dad, I've been reflecting over the last 50+ days. My plans haven't turned out exactly the way I'd liked - which, who am I kidding, the universe loves fucking with my schedule. Things are not as solidly in place as I'd have liked them to be....but they're also not as bad as they could be. January saw me 75% on track, in doing the things I'd set out to do. Then along came a blip in the form of my last Grandparent dying. Now before you start writing up your sympathy cards, her death has not affected me. I've not shed one tear in mourning of her passing. We weren't close, hadn't spoken in years and quite frankly I didn't really like her. However, I've been upset for my mum and worried about her ability to deal with the loss. The excessive worrying has made me feel intensely anxious, which led to an un-calm, emotional few weeks. As a result I've been eating whatever comforts me, not working out and basically doing the opposite of all of the good things I'd started at the beginning of the year. Nevertheless, this week I've managed to pick myself up and am getting back on track. Rather than feeling like I let myself down by falling off the wagon, therefore trying to pile on everything at once to make up for the lost time, I've been adding little habits back into my day. We will always fall. It's a part of being human. They say its the getting back up that counts. 'It doesn't matter how many times you fall, as long as you get back up' which is true. I always feel prouder of myself once, I've found my strength, fight or positive energy to dust myself off and start again. But what if you cant......
The world lost a lady last week. A lady I didn't know personally, I only knew of her because she was in the public eye. A lady, I don't remember seeing an Image of, where she wasn't smiling or looking happy. A lady that even though so many people are describing her as 'An Angel' 'A Beautiful Person' and 'A Diamond' decided she wanted her life to end. She was in so much pain that she couldn't see another option. She was hurting so badly that she couldn't find the fight in her to keep going. Publicly, I didn't know she was in such a bad place until last week. We didn't see her going through a long journey of depression over the years leading up to this tragic end -Which FYI should be a reminder, that mental health isn't an illness that comes with symptoms you can necessarily see. Because someone constantly shows you their smile and happy face, doesn't mean they're not falling apart on the inside. What we did see, was that a few months ago, everything seemed okay, and then (as we're told by the media she made a mistake - to which we still don't know the full extent of, but if she did do what they are implying she did, yes she was wrong and should be held accountable, but the the criticism, bullying and judgement she received was simply appalling) 90 days later this bright light had been dimmed. She made a statement on social media once that read "If you can be anything in this world, be kind" a statement that has resonated with so many.
Of course in life people will upset you and cause you to react in ways that could be
hurtful. But being kind is about more than that. Its about not making people feel shit about themselves. Its about being there for others, even if you don't understand what they're going through. But ultimately its about not weighing people down with criticism and judgement.
Of course in life people will upset you and cause you to react in ways that could be
hurtful. But being kind is about more than that. Its about not making people feel shit about themselves. Its about being there for others, even if you don't understand what they're going through. But ultimately its about not weighing people down with criticism and judgement.
So RIP Caroline Flack 💔 All of the tributes flooding in for you, show how much you were loved. I'm sorry the world was so cruel that it took away your fight.
I'd like to take this opportunity say to anyone struggling or feeling like they're in a bad place, as difficult as it may seem to do so (trust me, I know) please reach out. Please do not suffer in silence.
I'd also like to take this opportunity to say to anyone who is trolling, bullying or abusing others.....how would you feel if this was happening to someone you cared about? Just kidding......I'd actually say you're a cunt faced ass hat who deserves to have meat cleavers thrown at your head.
Looking forward as we head into march, which will hopefully bring less stormy weather. Straightening my hair only to have it blown to shit as soon as I open your front door, is long. February's weather has been so mad, its had planes landing like the pilots were drunk. Despite this, I've still had some highlights.
7 Days of Sweat - This week I made the decision to try the Joe Wickes - 7 days of sweat workout. I am proud, that not only did I make the commitment that I wanted to do 7 days of HIIT workouts, I completed 7 days of HIIT workouts. I'm knackered as I writing this post. But feel great for it. So that's a gold star for me ⭐
Buddha Bowl - I Created my first Buddha bowl this week. Another step in my eating less meat life. My buddha bowl consisted of Rocket, Cucumber, Red Cabbage, Carrot, Sweet Potato, Coriander, Falafel and houmous. Lesson learned.... Coriander is a great addition to a salad.
Looking forward as we head into march, which will hopefully bring less stormy weather. Straightening my hair only to have it blown to shit as soon as I open your front door, is long. February's weather has been so mad, its had planes landing like the pilots were drunk. Despite this, I've still had some highlights.
7 Days of Sweat - This week I made the decision to try the Joe Wickes - 7 days of sweat workout. I am proud, that not only did I make the commitment that I wanted to do 7 days of HIIT workouts, I completed 7 days of HIIT workouts. I'm knackered as I writing this post. But feel great for it. So that's a gold star for me ⭐
Buddha Bowl - I Created my first Buddha bowl this week. Another step in my eating less meat life. My buddha bowl consisted of Rocket, Cucumber, Red Cabbage, Carrot, Sweet Potato, Coriander, Falafel and houmous. Lesson learned.... Coriander is a great addition to a salad.
The Stranger - The newest edition to Netflix. British shows are not normally my go to. There have some exceptions over the years like Dr Foster and Marcella, that have had me hooked. With only 8 episodes (that I watched all in one day) The Stranger has filled the first spot in my top 10 shows of 2020. I'm not going to mention anything about what happens, so as not to give anything away and ruin it, but I highly recommend checking this show out. The story line is on point and the intertwining side stories will keep you glued to the screen.
Solo Holiday - I have started looking at dates and destinations for my first solo travelling experience. I'm not going to say when and where just yet, In case I chicken out...lol but all being well this will be ticked off of my bucket list this year.
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| Mussels |
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| Deep Fried Trio of Cheeses |
Family Dinner - I made sure to take some time out to do something fun.
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| Homemade Fish Kofte |
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| M & L Mixed Grill |
This came in the form of dinner with my daddy and his Mrs at Mem and Laz Brasserie.
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| Cheesecake |
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| Pornstar Martini |
A dainty (or so you think - the size of the building is deceiving from the outside) Mediterranean restaurant in the heart of Islington. Lush cocktails, friendly staff, a diverse menu and contrasting decor.
Anywho, I hope you've all have a had a great weekend and have an even better week and don't forget #bekind 😘
Have a great day, remember you are a unicorn and don't let anybody shit on your rainbow 💖
