Facing the Fear

So I got through my first post, which I was pretty proud of and then the fear set in. 

What if I can only write one good post? What if the novelty had worn off by the time I had woken up this morning? What if this is a big mistake? Pretty much the usual feelings that cause me to back away from things that are out of my comfort zone. The fear of failure. The fear of putting myself out there for the world to see.  The fear of putting my everything into something and it not working out the way I planned or worse, leaves me worse off than before I started.  I’m scared of all of these things regarding this blog because I am actually quite excited about writing this blog. 

 The same fears can be applied to other aspects of life and the fear of the way things may turn out can stop you doing them. Cooking - what if the dish doesn’t look like it does in the picture? What if my cooking kills someone?(I mean not mine, I’m a pretty good cook) Traveling - especially on my own. I’ve seen Taken. My dads great but I’m not sure if he is Liam Neeson great. Who am I kidding he probably is. 😁

Having been single as long as I have, I have had to face the fear of doing things on my own so that I do not miss out, but it can be difficult at first. Going to the cinema on my own wasn’t the worst because I don’t really talk whilst watching films anyway.  But going to lunch/dinner or for a drink in a new bar I wanted to check out, that took a while. Then there was my first overnight stay at a hotel.  FYI The Courthouse Shoreditch - nice hotel. That was hard, watching other couples and groups, but after I had done it, I was glad I had. Would I  book another overnight stay on my own? Yes, I like staying in nice hotels. Would I prefer to have the company of a nice gentleman who I can spend my  time there with naked? of course.  The point is I bit the bullet and now know that I can and probably will do it again. Next I will pluck up the courage to go on my first holiday on my own. 


There are so many fears (some legit and some a little crazy) that have stopped or delayed me doing things and I think that's played its part in me being where I am now with not fully knowing who I am and what I truly want.  So facing my fears has to be part of this journey.  Let’s not get it twisted I am not going bungee jumping tomorrow but I am going to start with trying to not be scared with how this blog may turn out and just keep writing it.  Just keep getting my random madness out there and see where it takes me.